債

很多的債未清理

沒有summer duty

很孩子氣的抵抗

遇到不順心氣焰boss

提心吊膽 放棄重拾魄力

冷眼看同事exploit 他們

還真過份的 原諒不了

價值觀 自我中心

Paid to work, not learn

Careless mistakes.

無論任何工作都需要呀

連名字都不想記起的G

為何你來電我都沒接
只想用沉默交待
於心有愧

累人累己滋味　餘生也記起
數一數　我實情不只得你要說句對不起

另一邊箱
A 我還是在想你
這是在我hook up憶起的你
那個生命中曾經最美的男孩子
貼近得想吻上長眼睫毛
明眸閃亮著夢想 希冀 
清澈好奇的心 想問你是否還愛待在圖書館
這篇寫來是為舒發
不知哪年哪天會重遇
大家到時交待了近況
那寧靜
都可能是再都找不到比你更好的
竟怕放懷擁抱你　讓你露歡容
追悔無用　轉眼發現　你失蹤

然後我墜落 孤單得隨意找個人陪
可以我為何沒想到這樣
會令那個體貼的人猜度呢？
他們說 我喜歡上你了
我為何會不知道呢直到現在
我都搶著到樓下買東西
不是我餓 不是我沒事做
是我總有希望在經過你宿舍
有機會遇上的那個瘦削身型
是你呀
我都不敢做傻事了
我愛你
就算你離開了
但你永遠活在我的腦海中

同事

第一年出社會工作
被別人罵罵罵
想離開 退穩
你多大呀
沒有反思別人的advice
Careless mistakes 俾人執手尾
做得好的沒有加分
但classroom management
average marks , bk check
向校長打小報告 還理直氣壯
別這樣不帥氣吧
但 帥氣不能當反食
而且很造作
平穩 還是最好
我愛你 別哭呀

快樂

甚麼是快樂?
老早心智未成熟
一套老舊文藝戲
一個窩心知己
半敞在大家一齊供的沙發
電視機 甜蜜時的藝術結晶
呀 臨離別的love making
你的旅行 都有我的足印
雙雙購買的passport套
重溫電影中童年的回憶
再吻一下 吧
這是我想過的下午
就星期日吧
還是捨不得 貼上我們未來的合照
哈 說著憧憬
是因為無經驗呀
他們說 拍拖好呀 work life balance
但我在等一個人
我曾經瘋過 墜落過 容許自己成為慘劇中的女主角
遇過不負責任的 只看色相的 無賴的
為何身邊的人 出雙入對了 談婚論嫁了
自己還在對自己撒甚麼謊 想找個伴
連一份簡單的工作都捍衛不了
更個況心愛的人
你 去死吧
人生有何意義
不過 還有一大堆義務職責要償還
但我的靈魂 要再一次被出賣嗎?
連接電話 說實話怕你嬲
做假 是對自己不忠
人人都說 藝術不能活口
但我愛呀
我滿腦子ideas 現在再右邊發育
你就給我一次的機會吧
我保證不後悔 不怪責你就對了
怕 是為甚麼?
摸黑 批評  疲憊 無力感
分不清是藥物ecstasy 過後的realization
還是工作後的併發症
我呀 還是一個人閉關 冷靜一下吧
可以嗎？

A little graveyard

Just when I was thinking about which way I am heading,
yup- I was under this swirl of thoughts after a friend of mine's advice.
Deep inside my heart I am longing to try out some visual arts, photography and to visualize my pathway as a true artist.
Deep in my heart I know it would some how be very vulnerable when you open yourself to the world around you, sometimes you get to know good people, or you are too openly attracted to the frame and how it sounds like.
Like deep inside you feel others have expectation on you,
but most often you have a higher expectation on yourself.
Loosen a bit and just follow your heart.
It somehow already tells me what to do.
No more fantasy dwelling
Doing one thing that scares you most everyday, yet I missed that opportunity to just say hi to my university professor whom I met in Wollongong. A very childish side of me appears that was responding that I hate somebody because they did not give attention to me. But, is it worth holding the grudge?
Bye bye negative Mendy

A Happiness Project

Met an interesting friend and he told me this.

"Everyone follows their own path
People will always expect things of you
But often, you expect more of yourself than what you think others expect of you.
Don't wish yourself into a dream -
take steps towards it
How would you know what dreaming was if you never lived first?
So live. Take a risk on something."

Does it contradict to the twenty something TEd talk?
Is money a foundation for happiness?

I have never met such an inspiring man.
Putting that frame of mind in my situation, how much would it work?

Life shouldn't be too harsh right

shxt

Woke up at 9:30
wondering to pull my inertia body for a run away from end of spiral tunnel
And the best thing seems to be getting out of a comfort zone.
So I took a stroll with some cool and nice friends of mine
Taking a dizzy ferry from the Central to the Cheung Chau
Trying out street food, nice guys, great texture, layering and composition
things get more difficult when you comes to a threshold
But the problem is that,
if you don't walk out of your comfort zone,
what's the point of living?
Yes so let go of fear.
Write your photo essay.

Do you want make of something you really liked?
If you have the determination to practice the skill you really value?
And not be tired, exhausted or even frustrated at times?
That's when you need to have preseverance.
No matter where, no matter when, just be there and try your very best.
That's/should be your altitude in life.

Not food, not simply entertainment, but a real heart.
And the future is full of possibility.
By the girl you want to be, dress nice, talk nice,
it is not about where you are from,
but keep the direction of where you are heading.
Learning to improve everyday bit by bit.
Set up a weekly goal pushing yourself to the limit.
No matter what you do, get enough practice.
Don't get too depressed. Don't expect too much.
Just try to shoot whatever you like.